Confidentiality is of the utmost importance at GD2. Our confidentiality agreement is included in our membership application and in our entrance agreement.
Please click on the topics below for more information about what confidentiality means at GD2.
CONFIDENTIALITY AND AUTONOMY
Some people choose to make their kinky interests public to varying degrees, whether online or otherwise.
Other people are very private about their kinky interests for any number reasons, such as personal preference, a morality clause in an employment contract, a high profile or public position at work or in a community, involvement in a religious community that frowns upon being kinky, or friends and family who would strongly disapprove if they knew.
It is everyone’s responsibility to maintain strict confidentiality so people can decide for themselves whether to disclose their kink or their involvement with GD2, or not, on their own terms.
WHAT IS SENSITIVE, PERSONAL, OR IDENTIFYING INFORMATION?
Sensitive, personal or identifying information is any information that could reasonably enable someone else to identify a person, whether directly or in conjunction with other information by “connecting the dots”. Such information can include, but is not limited to, the following:
- Attendance or membership status at GD2
- First and last names, especially if the person uses an alias or scene name
- Any name other than the one which someone chooses to use with you
- Someone’s online screen name
- Someone’s address, telephone number or email address
- Descriptions of physical appearance, especially for those with unique physical traits
- Job or career information
- A person’s enrollment in a particular school or pursuit of a particular degree
- Religious affiliation
- If you are in a non-kinky setting, any information at all linking the person to kinky interests, such as someone’s alias or scene name or simply that someone has kinky interests
MAINTAINING CONFIDENTIALITY: WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
You should never disclose who is or has been a member of GD2, who has attended GD2, or even details of what anyone has done at GD2 in a way that identifies someone without the express permission of the person involved.
Disclosing this and other potentially sensitive, personal or identifying information to others – even to other members of GD2 – can potentially jeopardize someone’s employment, family relationships or parental rights, as well as negatively impact GD2.
Even disclosing information that someone has chosen to share with you, but otherwise chooses to keep private, is a breach of confidentiality that can have consequences just as serious as intentional or direct breaches of confidentiality.
Disclosing any such information about someone at GD2 without express permission may result in the loss of membership, being barred from the club, and legal action against you.
GUIDELINES FOR RESPECTING PRIVACY AND CONFIDENTIALITY
Below are some helpful guidelines for maintaining confidentiality and ensuring we all respect each other’s sensitive, personal or identifying information.
These guidelines are a starting point only. They are not a comprehensive list of ways to maintain privacy and confidentiality because doing so is an ongoing process in many different contexts.
When You Know, Let It Flow
Only disclose information about someone, or details of something you have seen at GD2 that may identify someone, when you know for sure that you have express permission to do so.
When in Doubt, Don’t Spout
If you are not 100% sure that you have express permission to disclose information about someone, or details of something you have seen at GD2 that may identify someone, err on the side of caution and seek express permission directly from the people involved.
Get Express Permission to Disclose Any Sensitive, Personal or Identifying Information
What does it mean to get express permission from someone to share that person’s sensitive, personal, or identifying information?
It means that someone tells you directly and clearly that it is OK for you to share specific information with others, including to whom and in what context it acceptable to reveal that information.
This gives people the opportunity to manage and control their private information to the greatest extent possible.
Casey uses a scene name, “Shelby” and also uses an online screen name, “ChicagoShelby” on several kinky websites, including KinkySocialNetworking.com and KinkyOnlinePersonals.com. Casey also has an email address, ChicagoShelby@email.com, specifically for kinky email correspondence.
Casey has told you that it is OK for you to share with others the scene name Shelby and the online screen name ChicagoShelby for KinkySocialNetworking.com.
Someone who knows Casey’s real name and screen name “ChicagoShelby” on KinkySocialNetworking.com asks you for Casey’s email address because they share a specific fetish.
You know that Casey has a crush on this person and is very interested in getting to know this person better.
How should you respond?
NO Casey will be thrilled to hear from you at ChicagoShelby@gmail.com.
NO I’m not sure if I’m supposed to give out Casey’s email address, but you can try “ChicagoShelby” on KinkyOnlinePersonals.com.
YES I don’t have permission to share Shelby’s email address, but I’d be happy to pass along your contact information. Why don’t you give me your email address or your screen name on KinkySocialNetworking.com and I’ll forward it along to Shelby with a note that you’d like to get in touch?
Get Express Permission to Disclose Who and What You See or Hear at GD2
When referring to who and what you see at GD2, use only general terms to ensure confidentiality.
Sometimes referencing a detail may not be enough on its own to cause a violation of privacy, but in conjunction with other information you disclose, or other information someone else has, it may lead to a breach of confidentiality.
Last Saturday night at GD2, you saw Madison, a member who is the tallest person you have seen at the club, play with 2 guests, Alex and Blair. In the scene, they used Madison’s unique, bright yellow flogger. The scene makes an impression on you because of the intensity of the impacts and the connection between the three of them.
You would like to share your excitement about what you saw with others, including other GD2 members who were not present and friends who are kinky but who are not members of GD2. You do not have express permission from Madison, Alex and Blair to reveal any information about them to others.
How should you tell others about what you saw?
NO I saw Madison, a member of GD2, playing with a couple last Saturday and it was so hot!
NO I watched one of the tallest people I’ve ever seen playing with a couple last Saturday and they used a bright yellow flogger. It was so hot!
YES I recently saw a three-way scene that was just so intense, and the people seemed so connected. It was so hot!
Do Not Assume
When someone shares personal information with you, do NOT assume the information has been shared with others or that it is OK to share the information with others.
You’ve gotten to know Jamie pretty well and have learned that Jamie works as an experimental psychologist. Later, a mutual acquaintance that you believe to be friends with Jamie asks you, “I know Jamie is a psychologist. Do you know if Jamie is in private practice or is taking new clients?”
How should you respond?
NO As an experimental psychologist, not a clinical psychologist, Jamie doesn’t take clients.
NO I don’t think Jamie is self-employed. Jamie probably works for a university.
YES I’m not sure I have permission to discuss Jamie’s employment, so that’s something you should ask Jamie yourself.
WHAT INFORMATION DO YOU WANT TO KEEP PRIVATE?
Determine before you first come to GD2 what information you would like to keep completely private and what information about yourself you are comfortable disclosing to others.
Will the information you disclose change depending on whether you are sharing with a stranger, an acquaintance, a kinky friend or a potential play partner? Whether someone else discloses comparable information to you?
What If I Am Unsure What I Should Keep Private?
If you are not sure whether you would like to share certain information with others, do not disclose that information until you know for sure you are comfortable doing so.
It is much easier to give people more information than it is to take back information already disclosed. Some questions to consider:
How would you like people to know you?
- By a pseudonym
- By your first name
- By your first and last name
What would you like people to know about your work or school life?
- The general nature of your work or education
- Your job title or major
- Your place of employment or education
What would you like people to know about your background?
- Names of your relatives
- Your nationality or ethnic background
- Your religious affiliation or the religious institution you attend
- Where you grew up
- The neighborhood in which you live
- Your address
SUGGESTED RESPONSES WHEN YOU WANT TO MAINTAIN YOUR PRIVACY
The best way to deal with questions about information you would like to keep private is to clearly state your prefer not to share that information.
You have decided that you would like to use a scene name, “Parker”, and keep your first and last name private. You have met Morgan several times, and you know that Morgan is a good friend with Bailey. Bailey is a good friend of yours who knows your real name. Morgan asks, “So what is your real name?”
How should you respond?
NO How dare you ask me that? I’m never speaking to you again! And I’ll be sure to tell everyone you don’t respect privacy!
NO Well, you know Bailey, so I’m sure you already know. It’s . . .
YES I prefer to keep my real name private and use a scene name, so I just go by “Parker.”
Two weeks later at GD2, Morgan calls you by your real name, which Morgan says Bailey disclosed. You have learned Morgan’s last name but have not disclosed that information to others because you are not sure whether you have permission to do so.
How should you respond?
NO Tell Morgan, “That’s it, I’m telling everyone your last name! If you ever call me by my name again, I’m going to find out where you work and tell your employer what you’re really like!”
NO Tell Morgan, “Who do you think you are? I’ve never given you permission to use my first name. I’m going to make sure you are blacklisted everywhere for outing me!”
YES Say to Morgan, “I know Bailey told you my real name, but as I told you a couple of weeks ago, I prefer to keep my real name private. Please do not use it again without my express permission.”